Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Well, at least we had a plan B....

After not getting pregnant month after month, we asked our KD to go get his swim team checked again, just to see what was up.

Morphology: absolute crap.  Totally abnormal.

Needless to say we are heartbroken, heartbroken for not having kids who could grow up with a relationship with their biological father and heartbroken that we've wasted SO MUCH TIME trying and trying and trying and nothing after month of nothing.  The abnormal sperm morphology freaks me out, because I see the really crazy super rare genetic abnormalities at work and they're never good things (they look relatively  normal, but their insides never work properly, and a lot of them die before they're two).

Needless to say, this was the first month I was relieved that we weren't pregnant.

We now have an appointment next week with a local fertility clinic, I'm not sure what they'll have us do, but J has a ton of bloodwork to get done before then, I believe there's a mandatory counselling session we have to do, and of course the Ikea Catalogue picking of donors.

It's totally crazy to think of all the things we could have done/should have done, that we would have had a baby by now.  Or maybe not.  Clearly our baby is not ready to show up yet, so I can only cling to that.

I'm waffling on starting to take a prenatal, since switching uterii is Plan C.

Also, since we bought a condo, we move in two days, so everything is packed and a complete disaster right now.

It'll all sort itself out in good time!!