Friday, June 17, 2011

Still confused

My wife, being the amazing and rock solid creature she is, has completely fallen apart over the last couple of days.

I said she was weird (in a playful, joking manner, which I have done MANY times before) and I made her cry!! I felt like an asshole.

She peed on a stick yesterday. BFN.

Her temperature dropped, but then came up again.


Her body is also confused. I thought this would be a pretty straightforward "yes" or "no"... but clearly it's not going to be.

I'm already planning next month, not having much faith that there IS an embryo at this point (if she is pregnant, then something is not right and her body is preparing to expel the embryo).

I'm fine with it, it's obviously not the right time.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'm so confused!!!!

J's "period" abruptly stopped this morning. It was only 2 days and pretty light, although there was a fair amount of cramping and clots (tmi?). The other kicker is that her period was like, 4 days early, and it's only been 9 days since we last inseminated. She peed on a stick yesterday and it was BFN (big fat negative), so we're going to wait 2-3 more days and see what happens (which will take us to 13 and 14 days post last insemination, which was closest to when her temperature spiked). Her temperature hasn't fully come down, either...

Her boobs aren't sore anymore, although she slept for 2 days (although doing this post-camp is pretty normal). All she wants to eat is peanutbutter on toast.

Thus, we are insanely confused... My body intuition tells me that something is not quite right, and I was absolutely POSITIVE she was pregnant super early on, so I'm not sure what to think anymore. When we first started TTC, I felt our Spirit Baby hanging around a lot (the sex of it changed partway through too, there was very distinct male energy, and then it changed to female energy), but now I'm not sure.

However, the idea that there might still be a pregnancy has filled me with hope again, to the point where I'm actually giddy (although I did eat like, 5 spoonfuls of icing, since I am addicted to sugar).

Anyways. A stupid thing also is that the paperwork isn't QUITE done, so even if it's positive, we will remain mum until everything is signed, so I can't even put it on here...

Monday, June 13, 2011

Now that that's out of the way....

So we finished our first cycle, with J's body doing some very strange things (having symptoms of ovulation on a Thursday, not surging until the following Wednesday, then now having a temperature spike until the Sunday). Not sure what went on there, maybe it was feeling out of sorts? In any case, she went *super* moody and angsty, had PMS with *all* the symptoms times a thousand. I was feeling pretty confident, because we inseminated five times in total, and I felt the energy in her body change shortly afterwards.

And then at camp on Sunday morning, away from me, she got her period, plus super cramps. Coupled with not sleeping well due to camp and *really* bad seasonal allergies (and not really being able to take anything due to the possibility of being pregnant). I'm surprised at how calm I feel, but she was very very sad. I'm sad for her, that she had to deal with it all by herself. If it had even been a remote possibility, I would have picked her up and brought her home, but she was in charge and there was ratio to maintain.

I'm disappointed of course, but it's not interfering with my ability to be a functional human being. I'm confident that her body will grow us a healthy baby, but that it may take a couple of tries. I didn't expect it to happen on the first round anyways, mostly because we had *no* idea what we were doing (I did read up on the topic, but the actually putting-int0-practice is always a trial and error).

Our next cycle BD is away until the day after J ovulates (supposedly), so we'll probably only get 1 shot. The following cycle we're at camp until the DAY J ovulates, so there will be more mad scrambling!

It'll happen, I know it in my heart, but we have to be patient (and I am fairly patient!).

Since we're in full swing now for baby making, it's time to keep my eyes peeled for when the stroller we really want goes on sale: The Baby Jogger City Select! Seriously the coolest stroller I have ever seen, and a good friend has one and LOVES it!