I am brushing off the cobwebs of this corner.
J graduated (with distinction and two awards) at the end of May, I am so overwhelmingly proud of her. Finally, I thought, finally we can start to move forward.
Turns out it takes a bit of time for wheels to start churning forward again.
I am awaiting a phone call from the fertility clinic regarding our intake appointment. In the meantime I wake up at 5am everyday (since that's what time I have to wake up for work) to check my basal body temperature (it spikes after you ovulate). I check other fertility signs, and when I get close to ovulation I check with an ovulation predictor kit, which is looking for the spike in lutenizing hormone indicating impending ovulation.
I re-read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", and proceeded to have several days of intense marvel at my body and what it does (if you haven't read this book and have any intimate interaction with a body that ovulates and bleeds on a regular basis, I suggest that you read it!!! It's *amazing*.)
I started taking a prenatal vitamin. That was a *big* thing. It felt like starting to take it was the starting line.
I started wondering deeply about what else I might do to prepare my body and mind for this adventure. I started working on some of that.
Things are moving, slowly. I am remembering to breathe, to exist in the moment and not get too caught up in the future.
I am of course worried about money and time and space, but I remind myself that we are ENOUGH for these small people we will usher into this world. We have enough time and love and ability to parent, that children do not need a million toys and iPads and tremendous amounts of technology. They do not need "things". They require presence and attention and meaningful connection. This I can give them. I am enough.