Monday, May 2, 2011

Not alone.

I am deeply grateful that J and I are not going at this alone. We have incredible support from families, friends and co-workers. Strangers are supportive (Vancouver is a bubble, because friends who live outside of Vancouver don't find this). I find it difficult to put into words the feeling of finding other TTC or full out mommy bloggers of every shape and colour and circumstance, who look like me and feel the same way I do. There are moms who conceived easily, those who went through IVF, those with babies in the NICU, and those grappling with loss. Even those with self-identified genderqueer families, it all makes my heart itch with joy.

It's nice to know when griping about the whole Queer TTC situation, that I don't have to constantly explain myself (mostly because when I do explain it, I haven't figured out how to do it without having to reveal so much information, and some of it feels intensely personal and makes me feel very vulnerable, especially since I'm a Cancer and like to hide in my shell). Or feel worried that it will make me sound ungrateful.

I think I often give off the assumption that I think having kids is a time sucking, stressful thing, but mostly because if I speak of the joy of it, I might lose it. I glimpse it when I peer at my babies at work, or when I have one of them out with me for a cuddle. Even hospital babies smell good (a mix of baby, hospital and the disposable diapers we use).

It's spring here, which means a rebirth and new growth. We have a lawyer's appointment sometime this week, hopefully.

Am still reading my book, which will eventually tell me wtf I'm supposed to do with the sperm once T gives it to me... I have an idea, but I don't want to kill it all with my Gay. My Gay is very powerful.

One of J's families in her Girl Guide district have 2 moms and used a known donor. But they didn't do it in Canada, so the laws apply differently. Still, we want to talk to them. This whole pre-TTC timeline seems totally whack. But we'll have until August to sort everyone out, so I'm not worried.


  1. You're certainly not alone. I remember feeling overwhelmed when we initially started down this road, feeling like I was infertile because of the uniqueness of the situation. It will work out- I think it makes it tough because people do not talk about 'how' they conceived frequently...when for us 2-mom families it's all we want to talk about at times!

  2. I totally agree!! If you're straight/in a relationship with both a functional uterus and a sperm filled weiner, then if you talk about conception you have to ADMIT TO HAVING SEX. ;) For us, it's like conceiving Jesus. Except less holy. Unless you're donor's name is "Joseph". HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I am so grateful for the HUMONGOUS network for blogs I've stumbled upon (I actually feel like I tripped over a couple, fell over, got really excited about the ones I had tripped over, then turned around and realized there was an enormous stack of them!).