Today marks 6 years since I took a deep breath and kissed J, which was the culmination of 2 weeks of CRAZY flirting and me nearly going out of my mind trying to figure out if this straight woman was actually flirting or just super touchy-feely.
I still get jumpy and twitchy and so anxious I could barf when I think about that moment (which is how I felt). We "took it slow" and only hauled out the U-Haul 6 months later.
It's pretty crazy to think about where we came from and where we are now, especially in the midst of all of our "stuff" at the moment.
I still wake up next to her every morning thankful that she's apart of my life for who she is and what she brings to it.
In 2.5 weeks, we will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary, which is equally mind-blowing for me. Those 2 years have been the hardest and most heartbreaking, as we *never* thought we would be here without a little one to accompany us. It did force us to open our space and "air out the dirty laundry" to deal with ourselves and each other, to ask the universe for help and to be on the receiving end of much love.
My own epiphanies are coming fast and furious now, in sorting through my own issues. I had an absolutely beautiful session the other day and came away feeling better than I did when I went in. The process is still emotionally draining, and I'm so conscious of that. No overtime, lots of down time, lots of running/walking/hiking, lots of time in nature, lots of time with family and friends (and of course my wife).
I suppose it's the right time, since spring is the time of renewal and rebirth.
Already I can feel the lessening of the resentment and anger that I've carried around, so we are getting somewhere. :)